Sometimes I’m surprised how much I enjoy writing, but my writing history goes back a long way.
I had a Junior High teacher in Kermit, Texas, who would put a funny magazine photograph on the board and ask us to write a one-page story about the picture. We’d stand up in front of the class to read our stories, and then the class would vote by secret ballot on which story they liked the best. The secret-ballot voting worked well for me since I was not a cool guy and certainly not an insider; I was not the kind of guy other kids would go out on a limb to vote for publicly. But with secret ballots, I finished in the top three almost every week. I don’t have any of those award-winning stories in my files (just as well, I’m sure), and I don’t remember the teacher’s name, but I do remember the lay of the room and I remember the bulletin board where she posted the top three stories. And I certainly remember how proud I was to watch the other cool kids stand in front of the award board and read my stories.
But nowadays, the more I write, the more I realize that what I really enjoy is being read. I like to share what I’ve learned, and I like to know that someone out there is reading my stuff. I love to learn new things, but mainly I love to share the new things that I’ve learned. I love to read - reading is my favorite pastime - but I want to share what I’ve read. Occasionally someone will ask me to give a year-end talk to their civic club about books and what I’ve learned that year, and I love it. I always say yes to that sort of request.
Sharing makes my solitary pursuits: reading, writing, running, and all that, seem more important and less self-indulgent. But it’s not just that - I don’t really learn something until I share it with someone else.
But, well, I’ll go ahead and admit it – I also like to write because I am ambitious. I share Donald Miller’s ambition to be the next great spiritual writer. He wrote this, in his book Searching for God Knows What, “I have always wanted to be a sophisticated Christian writer and not somebody who has books on the close-out aisle at Plaid Pantry. Would this be the weekend I would be discovered, the start of a long career writing adventurous, life-changing books for my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ?” Miller was hoping to be a sort of Christian Deepak Chopra crossed with Tom Clancy. Me? I am more of a memoirist.
What Miller wrote sounds so familiar to my ears. I have great dreams of becoming a well-known spiritual writer that penetrates popular culture so deeply that I’m asked to talk about it on NPR and Book-TV, and that I get the opportunity to speak around the country about what I’ve learned. I want to be a Christian writer whose books are sold at Barnes and Noble, and other general market outlets. I realize I may be too much of a Christian insider for general market sales, but that is my dream. Of course I wouldn’t mind having a book or two on the shelves of Christian books stores, but I think we mostly have enough Christians writing to each other.
Through the years I have tried to write chapter-type books, but whenever I get over 800 to 1000 words I start to bore myself. I guess I am an essayist at heart. At present, after great encouragement from my friend Darrell, I am working a book of essays about running and how it has been a part of my search for God.
I recently read Steve Martin’s autobiography, Born Standing Up, which was about his career as a stand-up comic, but which I read as a book about being a writer. I wondered, what if, like Martin, my wildest dreams came true? What if I become over-the-top successful beyond any expectation – selling millions of books and winning literature prizes and international fame (as in, Rick Warren crossed with George Sheehan) and have the chance to speak everywhere and never have to worry about money again. Would I be happy about all that? I don’t know.
But I do know this. I like to write. And I know how important it’s become to my identity and to my personal walk with God. And I like to learn, and I like to share. And I like to imagine someone out there reading. And actually, that feels pretty good.
