Do you have music running through your head all the time? Even at night, while you are asleep? I do.
I guess maybe I don’t really know if I have music in my mind when I am asleep since, well, I’m asleep at the time. But I hear it every time I wake up to roll over, or wake up to run one of those middle-aged-man nighttime errands, or when I hear the alarm clock in the morning.
Lately, the song in my head has been the trombone part to one of the praise songs we sing in my church, “Alive Forever, Amen.” I expect I’ll be hearing it a few more days before it stops.
We had a big musical event at my church this past weekend. The internationally famous worship leader and singer, Travis Cottrell, and his singers, were in Midland for a music workshop and big concert with our choir and praise band. I was fortunate to play trombone in the band, and it was a joy.
The Sunday night concert lasted for two hours, and when the last song ended, all the musicians stayed in their place – choir, guitars, drums, keyboards, horns – hoping to play some more. It was the first concert I’ve attended when the musicians were the ones calling for an encore rather than the audience.
I remember finishing the last song and holding my King Silver Sonic trombone high over my head with one hand, the other hand raised in praise, exhausted from the long day, my chops were shot from the high notes, yet I was hoping for a little bit more. Just a couple more hits, please.
It was during one of our Wednesday night rehearsals as we were preparing for this concert when I first realized how this evening would impact me. I was fortunate to play my horn with three other guys – Rabon on tenor saxophone, Craig and Manning on trumpets – and we four were putting out a lot of volume. It’s too bad you can’t measure musical energy because we would’ve been in the megawatt range … without microphones. I had so much fun playing with those guys my heart was still racing after I got home.
The next morning after the rehearsal, at my Thursday-morning men’s class, I asked Rabon, “When we are together, I can play rhythms and hit high notes that I’m not good enough to play any other time. Why is that?”
He just laughed and shrugged his shoulders in his non-analytical way, as if to say it was all a mystery and it was all joy and maybe I should just let it happen.
Not willing to leave any thought unanalyzed, I said, “I think it’s because when we’re together I’m braver, and bolder; I’m a warrior standing beside my band of brothers and I can do more than I ever imagined.”
Rabon just nodded his head to agree.
There was one more aspect to it that I wouldn’t say out loud: I was just so happy the big kids let me play with them and I didn’t want to mess up my chance.
Well, after that Wednesday night rehearsal I remember telling Cyndi how sad my life would be if I couldn’t engage in music is such a personal way. Playing my horn is very physical, and my entire body is part of the action; especially my heart, which is the most important part. I don’t remember who it was, but I told someone, “Playing in church orchestra is my way of giving my time and talent back to God, but playing in this praise band feels more like God’s gift back to me. The joy is all mine.”
Sunday night, during the concert, as we energized our way through the final song, “Alive Forever, Amen,” I remembered my earlier statement about how sad life would be if I couldn’t play music. I realized there was so much more to the story. How sad my life would be if I didn’t have a God who loved me enough to give me a turn to praise Him; how lonely I would be without a daily relationship with Jesus.
And now, even as I’m typing this journal on my laptop, I’m thinking about what a desert my mind would be if I didn’t have music playing in the background all the time. One of my favorite Bible verses is Psalm 33:3 - “Sing to the Lord a new song; Play skillfully with a shout of joy.” That’s what it takes: skill (hard work), and joy (sheer pleasure). Or as Rabon says, “You’ve got to dig what you’re doing.”
That’s right; I do. I’m alive; forever; amen!
